Finding My Way Back to Swimming
Updated: Aug 7
I love swimming. I was lucky enough to have lessons throughout my childhood, so I’m a fairly confident swimmer. But there was a time when I hadn't been swimming for over a decade because of my health.
Then, one August, while on a mindfulness retreat, I took a tentative dip in the small outdoor pool. I'd reached a point in my journey where swimming with chronic illness felt like it might finally be possible. I’d already begun introducing gentle, mindful movement into my days. And in my mind, there was no safer or more supportive place to give it a try.
I swam just a couple of metres, and then cried. With happiness!
It felt like coming home. The water has always been one of my favourite places to be. (I am a Pisces, after all!) Coming out of the pool, I felt elated and alive. People around me told me I was radiating joy. And they were right. For the first time in so many years, I felt like me again.
Back home, I started looking for somewhere I might be able to swim regularly, somewhere affordable, accessible, and local. I don’t drive and rely on a pavement mobility scooter to get around. That’s when I discovered our town has a weekly disabled swimming group. It’s open to people with a wide range of physical and mental health conditions.
The next month, after a very reassuring phone call with one of the lovely ladies who runs the club, I finally plucked up the courage to go. And I'm so glad I did!
A woman was assigned to show me around and explain how things work. She was warm, friendly, and welcoming, and my nerves began to melt away. Everyone else I met was just as kind. There was no competitiveness and no comparisons. Everyone simply did their own thing, in their own way. It was caring. It was supportive. And I immediately felt at home.
That first session, I swam a couple of gentle lengths of the small pool, floated, and simply enjoyed the support of the water and the people. It was a blissful half-hour of not fighting gravity, of just letting go.
Afterwards, there was a raffle, a cup of tea, and a bit of chat. Not once did I feel like an outsider. I felt like I belonged. And I realised that feeling of belonging is something that had been missing from my life for far too long.
Sometimes it's not the activity we miss most. It's the way it made us feel.
These days, I go most weeks. Yes, for the swimming. But also for the people, the connection, the sense of community. I spent years housebound, and sometimes bedbound. That kind of life doesn’t lend itself to spontaneous chats or feeling part of something. I had forgotten what it feels like to belong. To be part of a group. And how vital that is to our wellbeing.
In a way, that realisation makes me sad. I spent so many years thinking swimming was no longer possible for me. Sure, swimming a mile before work was no longer my reality. But, if I’d known a group like this existed, maybe I could’ve come just to float, and to be with others. It could have made such a difference to my life. Yes, it may have to look very different. But that's life with chronic illness, isn't it? We adapt. We find new ways of doing the things we love.
The joy isn't lost. It just needs a different way of reaching us.
For years I told myself that because I couldn't swim a mile, I shouldn't bother at all. So I stayed away from the water for more than ten years. But it wasn't the distance I missed. It was the feeling of the water. The freedom. The connection.
Now, thankfully, swimming and human connection are part of my life again, my wellbeing, both mental and physical, is so much better for it.
The support of the water eases my pain and fatigue. I’ve slowly increased how much I can swim, and I’m gradually getting a little fitter and stronger. I can now swim further than I can walk. In the pool, I don’t feel disabled. In fact, sometimes I wish I could stay in the water and never deal with gravity again.
That first swim gave me the confidence to try things I'd never imagined I'd do again, including cold water swimming. But that's a story for another day.
What helps you feel like yourself again? Is there something you've rediscovered, or found a new way to enjoy, since becoming chronically ill?
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